Look in the mirror and be honest about what you see

The real art of thinking clearly doesn’t entail adopting someone else’s wisdom. It means resolving the clashes between your own values and daily behavior. The human brain is an intricate thing, bursting with decision-making capabilities that you can’t begin to totally understand. But it’s full of errors, too.

Presented in 99 parts and covering 99 imperfections of human existence, the international bestseller The Art of Thinking Clearly by Rolf Dobelli is a straightforward and accessible look at biases, knowledge, probabilities, fallacies, effects, illusions, syndromes, and anomalies that plague people’s lives and society in general.  It tackles topics like facing up to your “loss aversion,” or your fright of losses more than your desire for gains, your predisposition to underestimate the danger of extreme events,  “obedience” experiments, which revealed participants’ dismal readiness to let authority figures weaken their own moral judgment, or a recount of the oft-cited marshmallow experiment, which concluded that children who can wait become more successful in life.

“The failure to think clearly, or what experts call a ‘cognitive error,’ is a systematic deviation from logic — from optimal, rational, reasonable thought and behavior. By ‘systematic,’ I mean that these are not just occasional errors in judgment but rather routine mistakes, barriers to logic we stumble over time and again repeating patterns through generations and through the centuries,” Dobelli explains. The book is not a how-to on attaining an error-free life; it acts as insurance against what the author calls “too much self-induced unhappiness.” Here are my 21 choices from Dobelli’s 99.

• Awareness of your “circle of competence” is key. If you have to make an important decision about something you’re not an expert on, take the time to think; if the decision is important and you are an expert, trust your intuition; if it’s not important, don’t waste your energy by thinking. Just go with your gut.

• A decision must never be judged purely by its result. This is especially true when randomness or “external factors” play a role. A bad result does not automatically indicate a bad decision and vice versa.

• The more you like someone, the more inclined you are to buy from or help that person. This is what’s called the “liking bias,” which is startlingly simple to understand and yet you continually fall prey to it. It means that you’ve fallen under the influence of the “endowment effect,” where you consider things to be more valuable the moment you own them. In other words, if you are selling something, you charge more for it than what you yourself would be willing to spend.




• Sharing what you know about the world with others is enriching. As you do it, you experience your own discoveries vicariously. It engages you in an educational exploration that brings your most joyful moments, whatever your role is in life. Entertainment, for example, has a valuable place in your life and for the world. Perhaps you wouldn’t replace an engaging novel with a business or trade magazine for bedtime reading. And when you try to care about what’s going on in the world, strive to find truly significant ways to expand your awareness and extend yourself.

• Falling prey to the sunk-cost fallacy can lead to more failure and unhappiness. This is your state of affairs when you stick with a horrible or expensive situation simply because you’ve invested so much time, energy or money in it. If you paid to watch a movie, and then find out it’s awful but you continue to sit in the theater, you are not only wasting the money spent on the ticket, but your time. Assess only the future costs and benefits of your decision, not the sunk costs, when deciding whether to continue or pull the plug on something. That way, you can quickly walk away from bad movies, bad relationships and bad investments.

• Being wary of “confirmation bias” is a sound decision. It makes you embrace information that coddles your existing beliefs, while screening out information that tests those beliefs. It is the mother of all misconceptions, and the tendency to interpret new information so that it becomes compatible with your existing theories, beliefs and convictions. Write down your beliefs, and then resolutely embark to discover information that defies your suppositions.

• Your self-serving bias causes an overestimation of your contributions. This happens whether you are a coworker, a roommate, a husband or a wife. In many instances, you tend to overrate your contributions, but in the same breath, you also tend to slack off the bigger your group gets. An engineer had several men pull individually on a rope and he measured their power. If two men pulled together, they invested 93 percent of the power they had used when pulling individually. When eight men pulled together, they used just 49 percent of their individual power. It’s okay to have people work together in teams, but leaders should figure out ways to measure each person’s individual contributions.

• Systematically overestimating your chances of success constitutes “survivorship bias.” Guard against it by frequently visiting and revisiting the graves of once-promising projects, investments and careers. It is a sad walk, but one that should clear your mind.

• Getting caught up in the introspection illusion is dangerous. If you have reflected on an issue, it can cause you to believe that your views represent the truth. If you deem your views are the truth, you only have three reactions to people who don’t share those views: they are either ignorant of the facts, just plain stupid, or simply evil. To counter such an illusion, “Be all the more critical with yourself. Regard your own internal observations with the same skepticism as claims from some random person.”

• The fallacy of  “it’ll get worse before it gets better” should set alarm bells ringing. But beware: Situations do exist where things dip, and then improve. For example, a career change requires time and often incorporates loss of pay. The reorganization of business also takes time. But in all these cases, you can see relatively quickly if the measures are working. The milestones are clears and verifiable. Look to these rather than the heavens.

• Don’t cling to things. Consider your property something that the “universe” (whatever you believe this to be) has bestowed on you temporarily. Keep in mind that it can recoup this (or more) in the blink of an eye.

• You can’t fight it. Evil is more powerful and more plentiful than good. You are more sensitive to negative than to positive things. On the street, scary faces stand out more than smiling ones.  You remember bad behavior longer than good — except, of course, when it comes to yourself.

• It’s not what you say, but how you say it. Realize that whatever you communicate contains some element of framing, and that every fact — even if you hear it from trusted friend or read it in a reputable newspaper — is subject to this effect, too.

• If you have an enemy, give him information. Perform your best to get by with bare facts; it will help you make better decisions. Superfluous knowledge is worthless, whether you know it or not. As historian Daniel J. Boorstin puts it: “The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance — it is the illusion of knowledge.” And next time you are confronted by a rival, consider killing him — not with kindness — but with reams of data and analysis.

• Whether you like it or not, you are a puppet of your emotions. You make complex decisions by consulting your feelings, not your thoughts. Against your best intentions, you substitute the question, “What do I think about this?” with “How do I feel about this?” So smile, your future is slave to your emotions.

• It’s never just a two-horse race.  If you have trouble making a decision, remember that the choices are broader than “no surgery” or “highly risky surgery.” Forget about the rock and the hard place, and open your eyes to other, superior alternatives.

• First and last impressions dominate. This means that the content sandwiched in between has only a weak influence. Try to avoid evaluations based on first impressions. They will deceive you, guaranteed, in one way or another. Try to assess all aspects impartially. It’s not easy, but there are ways around it. For example, if you’re interviewing, jot down a score every five minutes and calculate the average afterward. This way, you make sure that the “middle” counts just as much as hello and goodbye.

• Last chances make us panic. Let’s say you have long dreamed of owning a house. Land is becoming scarce. Only a handful of plots with sea views are left. Three remain, then two, and now just one. It’s your last chance! This thought racing through your head, you give in and buy the last plot at an exorbitant price. The fear of regret tricked you into thinking this was a onetime offer, when in reality, real estate with a lake view will always come on the market. The sale of stunning property isn’t going to stop anytime soon. “Last chances” make you panic-stricken, and the “fear of regret” can overwhelm even the most hardheaded dealmakers.

• Like all emotions, envy has its origins in our evolutionary past. You are the offspring of the envious. But in today’s world, envy is no longer vital. If your neighbor buys himself a Porsche, it doesn’t mean that he has taken anything from you. When you find yourself suffering pangs of envy, be reminded: “It’s okay to be envious — but only of the person you aspire to become.”

• Purge yourself of the “illusion of attention” every now and then. Confront all possible and seemingly impossible scenarios. What unexpected events might happen? What lurks beside and behind the burning issues? What is no one addressing? Pay attention to silences as much as you respond to noises. Check the periphery, not just the center. Think the unthinkable. Something unusual can be huge; we still may not see it. Being big and distinctive is not enough to be seen. The unusual and huge thing must be expected.

From here, you can start applying the lessons you learned almost instantly from Dobelli’s list. Surely they will be useful navigational tools in decision-making as you’re faced with overwhelming choices, too many resolutions and assessments, or plain overthinking. But before you take the plunge on anything, “look in the mirror — and be honest about what you see.”

source: philstar.com

Non-regular bedtimes tied to kids' behavior problems

NEW YORK - Kids without a regular bedtime tend to have more behavior problems at home and at school, a new study suggests.

Researchers found that when children started going to sleep at a more consistent time, their behavior improved as well.

"If you are constantly changing the amounts of sleep you get or the different times you go to bed, it's likely to mess up your body clock," said Yvonne Kelly, who led the study.

"That has all sorts of impacts on how your body is able to work the following day," Kelly, from University College London, told Reuters Health.

She and her colleagues analyzed data on more than 10,000 children. They were part of a long-term study of babies born in the UK in 2000 to 2002 that regularly surveyed parents about sleep and behavioral problems.

Children with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder or an autism spectrum disorder were not included in the study.

When kids were three years old, close to 20 percent of parents said their child sometimes or never went to bed at a consistent time. That fell to 9 percent among five-year-olds and 8 percent for seven-year-olds.

Children without a regular bedtime tended to score worse on a measure of behavior problems such as acting unhappy, getting into fights and being inconsiderate. The assessment is scored from 0 to 40, with higher scores indicating more problems.

When children were seven years old, for example, those without a regular bedtime scored an 8.5, on average, based on their mothers' reports. That compared to scores between 6.3 and 6.9 for kids who had a consistent bedtime before 9 p.m.

The researchers said one to two points represents a small or moderate difference, but is "meaningful."

Teachers of seven-year-olds were asked to report on their behavior as well. They also gave worse scores to children who didn't have a regular bedtime.

Kids whose parents said they had non-regular bedtimes on every survey growing up had the most behavioral issues, Kelly's team reported in Pediatrics.

But when children went from having a non-regular bedtime to a regular bedtime on the following survey, their behavior scores improved.

That is encouraging, Kelly said, because it shows parents can make changes to affect their child's behavior.

Although the researchers accounted for other parent characteristics and family habits, it's still possible kids' behavior problems weren't directly caused by irregular bedtimes.

"It's very difficult to know whether or not from a study like this, is it literally the not having a regular bedtime schedule that was contributing to the difficulties or is it representative of a bigger picture?" said Jodi Mindell.

A pediatric sleep specialist from St. Joseph's University in Philadelphia, she was not involved in the new research.

Still, Mindell said, getting kids to bed early and at a consistent time is "really important."

Kelly recommended families avoid television and other screens before bed and get into a routine that includes a bedtime story and other calm activities.

"All of these things which are kind of just basic common sense are going to help," she said.

Having a bedtime routine that is quality family time also makes it something children will look forward to, Mindell told Reuters Health.

"I think that parents need to make sleep a priority, and they need to realize that it has huge ramifications not only that evening, but the next day, the next week, the next year," she said.

However, parents don't have to drive themselves crazy, Kelly said. "The odd late night is not going to cause harm either," she said.

source: interaksyon.com

Don't Dip into Controversy, Chiz Appeals To Critics

Team PNoy re-electionist Sen. Francis “Chiz” Escudero is appealing to his critics not to dip their fingers into the current controversy hounding his relationship with his girlfriend, actress Heart Evangelista who has been at loggerheads with her parents over his alleged uncouth behavior.

“Sana ay hindi ito panghimasukan ng iba upang sa gayon ay manatili ang puwang na magkaunawaan sila,” he said in a televised radio interview.

Evangelista's parents have asked Escudero to distance himself from their daughter following his disrespectful attitude, which they said were uncalled for.  But Evangelista appealed to her parents to let her decide for herself, apparently siding with Escudero.

"Sapat na siguro na sabihin ko muna ngayon na, bagaman, ako ay medyo nadadamay, hangga’t maari, ayaw kung manghimasok sa hindi pagkaka-unawaan sa pagitan ng isang anak at kanyang mga magulang," Escudero said.

The Team PNoy bet, who is separated said he won't allow his work to be affected by his personal life, citing that he is not part of the show is industry.

“Hindi po ako showbiz. Hinihiwalay ko po at ‘di ko pinaghahalo ang trabaho ko sa personal kong buhay at lalong hindi ko po pinapayagan na manghimasok ang personal kong buhay sa aking trabaho,” Escudero explained.

He expressed hope that he and Evangelista as a couple would survive the controversy.

“Maayos at matatag ang samahan at ugnayan namin ni Heart atnitinuturing ko lamang ito bilang isang hamon at pagsubok sa relasyon namin kung saan, buo ang pag-asa ko na, ito ay malalampasan namin," he said.

source: mb.com.ph

Preschool snoring could signal behavioral problems - study

Preschoolers who habitually snore may be at greater risk of behavioral problems than other children their age, according to a US study.

Researchers, who results appeared in the journal Pediatrics, found that two- and three-year olds who snored loudly at least a couple of times per week tended to have more problems with inattention and hyperactivity.

More than one-third of those "persistent" snorers were considered to be at least at risk of a behavioral disorder, like attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder.

This compared with 10 to 12 percent of their peers who either did not snore or had shorter-lived problems, said researchers led by Dean Beebe, of Cincinnati Children's Hospital Medical Center.

The findings do not prove that the breathing problems directly lead to behavioral problems or that treating the underlying cause of snoring can improve children's behavior.

"Kids are going to snore sometimes, especially when they have a cold," Beebe said in an interview. "It's when the snoring persists that it gets concerning."

He added that chronic, loud snoring "should be on parents' radar, and it's something they should bring up to their pediatrician."

The study adds to others that have linked children's behavior to so-called sleep-disordered breathing -- when kids chronically snore, mouth-breathe or seem to stop breathing for several seconds at a time as they sleep, also called apnea.

For the study, 249 children were followed from birth to age three. Overall, nine percent were considered persistent snorers based on parents' reports. That meant they'd snored loudly at least twice a week at the ages of both two and three.

Another 23 percent were "transient" snorers, meaning they'd snored at least twice a week at either age two or three but not both. The rest of the children, 68 percent, were considered non-snorers.

Overall, 35 percent of the persistent snorers scored high enough on a standard questionnaire to at least be considered "at risk" of a behavioral disorder, though that didn't mean they had one.

"It isn't necessarily diagnostic, but they're showing more problems than is typical," Beebe said.

There are reasons to believe that sleep-disordered breathing would affect children's behavior. One reason is that poor sleep quality could make them tired and more easily frustrated.

Based on animal research, it's possible that when apnea causes oxygen levels to go down repeatedly overnight, there might effects on the brain circuitry.

Beebe's team accounted for family income, children's exposure to cigarette smoke and certain other factors, and the snoring-behavior link still held. Although, Beebe said it's always possible that there are other explanations.

For now, he recommended that parents be aware that persistent snoring is "not normal" and is something they should tell their pediatrician about.

source: interaksyon.com

Xian Lim Takes ‘Attitude Problem’ Rumor In Stride

MANILA, Philippines – Popular singer-actor Xian Lim has finally addressed rumors alleging that he had exhibited foul behavior while taping for one of his commercials.

“May nag-explain sa akin niyan and ‘yung mga details n’ung nangyari hindi nagtugma sa mga ginawa ko’ng commercials. So it’s completely false kasi may pruweba na kung i-search pa nila yung mga ibang commercials na ginawa ko, walang ganun,” Xian told Push.com.ph in an interview posted on June 20.

With that, the actor said that he "can’t really please everyone, and ang mapapakita ko lang naman talaga sa kanila yung ako di ba? ‘Yun lang naman pinapakita ko and I’m just happy merong supporters.”

Xian would rather look at the positive side “rather than the negative,” and accepts these criticisms “para maisip ko rin na bakit kaya nila nasabi ‘yun?”

More, he expressed hope that his critics would eventually get to see “’yung totoong side of me.”

“’Pag meron silang second chance or third chance na magkita kami, maybe they can get to know me more, hindi naman ‘yung first sulyap pa lang ganun na. As much as possible happy happy lang gusto ko. Kasi kapag happy lang talagang smooth flowing eh.

“Hopefully habang tumagal ako, makita naman nila yung kakayahan,” he said, adding that he has nothing against his detractors.

Meanwhile, Xian welcomes the possibility of his current onscreen partner and “good friend” Kim Chiu working with Gerald Anderson, her former partner.

“Masaya naman ako, masaya naman ako sa kanilang dalawa. Actually it’s a Star Magic movie ‘yung gagawin nila, so gusto ko rin ‘yang mapapanood kasi iba-ibang artista magsasama-sama,” he told abs-cbnnews.com in a separate report posted also on Wednesday.

Xian and Kim are set to appear on the upcoming Kapamilya series, “Ina, Anak, Kapatid.”

source: mb.com.ph

Mind Your Manners

MANILA, Philippines — Children are the reflections of their parents. Having manners is the most obvious way to see if a child has been brought up well. We are not looking for the impeccability of medieval times, just the basic Ps and Qs will do. Appropriate behavior on our part is very important when it comes to parenting, because our children learn from us. We cannot control the environment our children are in, making them exposed to all sorts of outside influences.

I had my first child at 19 and in a way it was good for me because I learned more about being selfless and considerate of others as well. Of course I didn’t learn everything right away; not during my first three or four children even. By the time I did, I was probably in my mid-20s already. Prior to that, I had quite a short temper and always wanted things to go my way. I saw it as a sign of self-improvement when I started feeling embarrassed for my kids when I would react impulsively in certain situations. I actually felt most proud when I would catch myself and say in my head: “Oops! These children are watching your every move and they idolize no one other than their parents!” That was the best and easiest way for me to make a quick turnaround and deal with the situation calmly BUT firmly. I wanted my children to learn the need for them to assert themselves, but in the most civil way possible.

When I was young, I was kind of spoiled. I wouldn’t answer back to my folks, but I remember stomping off and walking out when I didn’t get my way. Horrible! My parents were very strict with us, but they never curbed that attitude of mine, and although I can’t say I don’t blame them, that didn’t stop me from wanting to see a change in myself. I saw how difficult it was for me to get out of that type of behavior. That is why I often remind my children of how difficult it is to change as we get older. It’s even harder if you don’t realize it, or are in denial, because recognizing the problem is the first step to finding a solution.

Just like having good communication, instilling good manners cannot be learnt overnight. Appropriate behavior is learnt at certain life stages. These days, we notice that in our society even adults show very little respect and manners than in previous generations. Media has a lot to do with this, because it has a social responsibility. This is where good parenting comes in. We give children the foundation in order to discern right from wrong, so that they turn into responsible adults. A child must be consistently guided—mostly by the parents’ example—when being taught correct manners. We cannot just tell our children to do what we say because we say so; we need to explain to them, as we go along, why we make such judgments. We need to explain to them the end result, the reward we ultimately receive when we choose to do what is right. We also show them the value of making the right choices by praising them when they do well. The same happens when they readily admit to having made a wrong decision. We must also praise them for this because every mistake admitted is a lesson well learnt. Implementing rules—not just having them—is so important and should be equal for everyone, or else mutual respect will be lost. I cannot emphasize enough the importance of the way parents act around their children. Here are the most basic of rules to guide our children so they grow with the right manners.

1. Everything begins with respect

No matter how much you feel like screaming at your children because you are overwhelmed, always remember to not let out words which you will later regret saying. Talk to your children with the kindest tone and they will naturally speak this way to others as well.

2. The value of sharing

Make it a habit to be generous with your children in even the slightest way, so they also automatically share their blessings with others.

3. Give compliments easily

Be generous in complimenting your children whenever they show the slightest act of kindness so they will want to hear your praises even more. Avoid criticizing them, especially in public, as they will lose self-respect.

4. The importance of being polite

Let your children form the habit of saying “please” and “thank you.” This is the most important way to bring up children so they do not feel entitled.

5. Know when to apologize

Make sure your children know that an apology is not an automatic offense eliminator. On the other hand, teaching them to own up while they are still young makes them learn the value of taking responsibility for their actions. Apologizing to your children when you have wronged them shows you respect them.

6. Patience is a virtue

Reacting on impulse shows a lack of self-control. Being patient helps build character.

As my children grow, I am still in awe when I see them making decisions on their own. These are the times I can tell myself that I have done a pretty good job in raising them.

Find out more about life stages at www.theonecore.com and support www.francismagalonafoundation.com for a better future for the Filipino youth.

source: mb.com.ph