MANILA, Philippines - After setting a number of meetings that have been put off, Zoren Legaspi and BB Gandanghari finally came face to face, finding answers to questions they've always wanted to ask each other, and eventually, their long wished-for closure.
The taped interview, aired on "Paparazzi Showbiz Exposed," June 2, started off awkwardly, with Zoren calling BB "madame" because he was unsure of how to address the transexual model whose "previous" self, actor Rustom Padilla, happens to be the ex-husband of Zoren's long-time partner, Carmina Villaroel.
Although still looking quite uneasy, Zoren asked BB whether the latter has ever had ill feelings towards him.
BB was quick to respond, "Honestly, wala."
If there's anything he feels towards Zoren, it's gratitude, BB said.
"I can see that you’re taking care of Carmina and I’m very happy. Ang gusto ko lang naman is mapunta sa maganda si Carmina in the end. And I think that she’s very happy with you. If only for that... kung sama at sama ng loob, wala. Galit, wala.
“[Pero] kung ang pag-uusapan si Rustom ha, kumbaga bago pa namayapa si Rustom, hindi siguro sama ng loob 'yun or hindi tampo, kung hindi, of course, at that time, parang siguro wini-wish niya na 'yung happiness na nararamdaman ninyong dalawa is sana na-experience din niya 'yun, siguro 'yun lang 'yun," he added.
Rustom and Carmina got married in 1994, only to part ways three years after. Then in 2001, Carmina gave birth to her twins with Zoren.
Rustom's stint as one of the housemates of the first "Pinoy Big Brother Celebrity Edition" paved the way for him to "come out" in 2006. Eventually, he metamorphosed into BB Gandanghari. Carmina revealed in a TV interview earlier this year that before Rustom entered the "PBB" house, he already confessed to her the truth about his sexuality.
It turns out, as BB related in his "Paparazzi" interview, that of all the very few people he wanted to talk to about the big truth first, "si Carmina lang 'yung nakausap ko."
"Dun ko nakilala si Carmina, dun nabuo 'yung respeto ko sa kanya, bilang tao. At sabi ko sa sarili ko na siguro sa lahat ng nangyari, it was a blessing na si Carmina 'yung naging parte, kung may masakit man na nangyari o kung ano man pero… kasi napakaganda ng handling ng mga nangyari. I was very thankful and I was also very grateful na pumayag ka [na magka-usap kami], kasi siyempre at that time, may sarili na kayong buhay eh," he said.
Asked if it was hard saying sorry to Carmina, BB responded "yes and no."
"It was difficult because I didn’t wanna make her feel na there was deception at that time because probably there wasn’t. So 'yung pag so-sorry is, kung mangyayari man ito ngayon, baka masaktan ka. Kaya ako nagso-sorry, or baka maapektuhan ka, or baka meron kang maisip na hindi maganda. Kaya ako nagso-sorry.
“It was difficult also na sabihin sa kanya 'yon kasi ayoko na kasi pahabain eh, 'di ba? But nangyari 'yun kasi out of respect… Kung merong isang tao na nakakakilala kay Rustom, I think si Carmina 'yun eh, so I just thought I owe it to her… the honesty and all," BB said at length.
Coming "out," BB has found his freedom and happiness. He's now surer of himself and his wants—unlike Rustom, who was "very insecure" and a "people pleaser," according to BB.
"But I can be happier," BB added, though intimating that there are still challenges.
"Tinatanong nga nila if this a preference or what. Sabi ko, 'No, this is an orientation, my sexuality is an orientation...' So it’s not a choice, because if this is a choice, wow! A hundred times kong iisipin if this will be my choice… But since it's not a choice, kahit mahirap siya, kailangan mong harapin, kailangan mong tanggapin," he said.
BB's turn
Zoren then turned the tables on BB. The latter's first query was, "Bakit mo ‘ko gustong ma-interview?”
To this the actor-TV host responded, "Gusto kita talagang ma-interview… because I want that closure in the eyes of the public. Gusto ko sanang masara siya and maintindihan ng publiko na it’s really not a big deal, sa ating tatlo, it’s just a big deal dahil hindi pa tayo nagkita-kita."
He added that the interview would help him get to know BB, the person who's an integral part of Carmina's past.
"Hindi na 'yun mabubura kahit ano pa'ng sabihin mo. You're still included and gusto kitang makilala. And I’m very thankful na you said yes to this interview, nagkakilala tayo, and I’m very happy na nabunutan ako ng tinik sa mga narinig ko sa 'yo and lalo kitang nirespeto," said Zoren.
BB then asked whom Zoren would prefer to interview, him or Rustom. The latter chose BB, deeming that "mas marami akong magagandang itanong sa'yo. And marami kang mas magagandang masasabi sa akin."
He went on to say, "Medyo mas magiging kabado 'ko kung si Rustom 'yung mai-interview ko. Magiging guy-to-guy talk eh, hindi kagaya natin, mas calm, may tawanan…"
"Mas gusto kita, close na nga tayo 'di ba?" Zoren added, prompting laughter from him and BB.
Lastly, BB wanted to know how much Zoren loves Carmina.
“Hindi pa 'ko nagloloko. You know, maraming hindi naniniwala. Maraming tukso siyempre, pero malaki talagang sakripisyo ko to keep the family intact. So, ang ginagawa ko talaga para makaiwas ako dun, hindi na talaga ako lumalabas, I mean I hang out with the kids.
“Gaano ko kamahal si Carmina? Ayoko kasing cliché yung sagot, eh. Siguro right now, kasi she’s not good with money, siguro sa sobrang mahal ko sa kanya, I’m so afraid na mawala ako, mauna ako sa kanya. Ganun kasi ako mag-isip… Sini-set ko na siya, just in case na mawala ako, meron na siyang mga investment na hindi niya alam," Zoren related.
In closing the interview, Zoren thanked BB and assured him that everything is water under the bridge now.
"From here sana, this is a beginning for all of us… You know, bagong pakikitungo sa isa’t-isa. Kumbaga let's start as a family… we can be a family, 'di ba? Wala namang problema dun," he said.
Touched by his words, BB remarked, “Wow, 'yun yata 'yung pinakamaganda kong narinig ngayon. I’m very happy that I finally talked to you. And hopefully, [I can] meet your whole family. That’s my wish.”
The interview ended with the two giving each other a warm hug.
Live meeting
Zoren and BB's touching encounter didn't end there. They met again live on the "Paparazzi" studio where they shared their thoughts about how the interview went.
BB was also asked what he meant by his “Naba-blangko naman ako sa tingin mo sa'kin" quip to Zoren during the taped interview.
"Eh kaya yata na-in love sa kanya si Carmina eh grabe tumitig eh! No wonder. Now I understand. Kaya ako nagtanong kung meron [siyang] kapatid," said BB, eliciting cheers from the show's hosts as well as the studio audience.
He turned serious as he related his wish for his family.
"I just wish peace and ginagawa ko naman lahat 'to kasi gusto ko lang talaga, this is not a very fairy tale to me, hindi 'yung paggising ko sa umaga happily ever after na. May mga challenges everyday just as you guys have to face challenges too. Mahirap lang kasi I belong to the minority na minsan nakakadanas din ng discrimination. Sana lang kung hindi talaga matatanggap, sana maintindihan," BB said.
source: mb.com.ph
